Assalammu Alaikum. Wr. Wb.
"I'm standing inside crowded Bus, trying hard to breath, because it seems there is only a little space left for air to coming in, and that unsensitive driver keep running this Bus without hesitation at all, do not feel bother for considering his passengers need. Then in one split second, the Bus making turn a little bit, and stop. My feet, which already unstable because too tired to stand in moving bus, slip and I'm started to fall onto my back, almost! Because suddenly there are arms covering my body, and another body catch mine. I look back and freeze. My eyes meet those eyes, a pair of the most beautiful eyes I ever seen, planted deep under thick brows. The color is dark, with golden sparks in every shed of light. I'm enchanted!"
Imagine, how beautiful that moment sound, when we fall to someone charm for the first time of our life. There is nothing wrong by falling in somebody's beauty because it is God's creation and admiring it makes us aware of His Greatness. But when it happened in the street to someone we don't know, easy to predict what will happen next.
You will feel longing. You will start painting your heart with those eyes and asking;
"Who is he, the one who capture my heart? Did his eyes under somebody's spell, or I still have my way through his heart? I wonder, day, night and then morning coming back without an answer of my question about him. I do not know who he is or what he is and it make me sad."
Please don't start commenting that I put too much roman on the way I write. I just want to make foundation on my point. So keep reading, ok?
"One day, by an accident, I meet him again. Beautiful face brightening by smile sit next to beautiful woman. Is She His 'the one'? I wondered without realizing that my eyes caught in his face and it brought his attention to me. He look at my way, and some short recognition sparkling in his eyes. He smiles to me, made my heart pounding again. The Woman stood up, took her bag and go. He stood up too, and walked to my way, and said; "Hi, nice to meet you again, the lady from the crowded Bus."
One conversation continued to anothers. Suddenly, in speed of lightning, both of them jumping inside this woman and man's relationship. Always wants to be together, wants to get close to each other, everyday and every time. When this need could not be achieve, the longing heart become more and more painful.
"Finally he has time for me and we meet again. I miss him so bad and that is why I rushed inside his arms to make the pain of missing him go away. He holds me tight and let me leaned on him. A minutes after that, when I lift up my face to look on him, he captured my sight and start to kissed my lips".
'm not trying to writing some hot or porn action here! Please stay and keep reading my friend!
There you go, love is beautiful feeling, but when 2 people are being dragged into this kind of situation, they are become so easy to slip in sin. When one sin have been committed, the others will take a line, and for the sinner, sometimes it doesn't need to much evil's push to commit another sin which is worst than before.
"What? You already have a girlfriend? So what do you think I'm?"
"I'm so sorry! I did try to break up with her but she denied it."
"Just leave her!"
"She is sick! Please give me a chance. I will break up with her, but we should wait"
"I can't wait!"
"Please understand! It will kill her if I do it right now!"
"Do you love me?"
"More than I love myself!"
"Really?"
He didn't reply to my words, but wrapped me with his arms. I can't do anything except hold him back, willing to do anything to feel him as close as possible. To feel him as mine. Without knowing when it starts, we landed on the coach, and...."
Verbodden!
So everyone must be understood what will happen next, right? But why this is happen? In my opinion it's simply, because this natural need which drives by natural instinct, caused us to do what devil doesn't have to seduce us too far and too long to commit, in the name of love.
So, is Love the reason why the sins being committed? What is love then? Where it coming from? And what it used for?
Erich Fromm said, "Love is the answers of human existence problems".
Even in animal's life we can find something close to love, which is the extent of their instinctive ability. But in human we only can find it in little amount. Instinct is something certain, giving bond with nature as once unite, because it flow as nature, to one direction only, and never have to experience any change.
When Adam and Eve fell to the sin and had to leave Paradise, they are thrown as part of the nature and started to realized their differences. They cover their bodies and felt ashamed; not because finally they realized the nudity, but because for the first time they seen the difference between them and can't felt the connection anymore. Because they never learned to knew and to love each other before. Suddenly they felt unconnected and alone, and those brought anxiety and guilty feeling.
Start from that time, need to endure separation and walk away from present of loneliness become human's deeper need. Failing it can create madness. That is why human from very beginning tried to find help by drawn themselves into orgiastic activity, such as trance of ritual beliefs, using drugs and alcohols, and sex. This three activity have same basic characters, which is very strong and intense, involving totality in personality (soul and body), but only temporary and periodically.
In woman and Man relationships, sex become crucial material. In the case that I presenting in part 1, Sex becomes the remedy from longing and uncertain feeling of love. The result will never give real remedy, but in the contrary, will put stress to higher level than before; because the situation become unpredicted and make the longing feeling goes deeper than ever before. The problems going deep more than Sex, because remember; Sex only a remedy for uncertain feeling they develop about each others. The thought of being lonely, alone and unfitted to the world because being threatened of losing the one she love, put her in the situation that can caused depression, and ending with hurting herself.
Maybe this situation I created as the background of this post is to strong, to unusual and to dramatize. But I guarantee you, who can't see the truth of this story; this is a common themes of problems in human life these days. Different stories in every corner but mostly have the same ending, Sin. Even maybe your sin only by hold or kiss, but sin is a sin, do not need to calculate right now by yourself because God will calculate it for you when the day is come. Just need to avoid, even in slightest way!
In Islam, marriage is considered to be life's most valuable institution. It is lifelong commitment and is traditionally arranged by parents, because in Islam, Women not allow to meet and have close relationship with man who not her mahram, left alone dating him. However, many young muslims today think that the decision to marry should be left up to them. If you want to do so, please considering the most appropriate way that not has opposite direction with Islam.
The story that my sister, Jamila told us, maybe too ideal. We have been created with eyes to see and admire beautiful things. Our thought have been teach to seek greatness in life, because we considering this as the only way of successful life. The young Man in Jamila's story maybe could act like that because he is beautiful and wealthy. But think this way, how we can have a wonderful marriage if we never knew nor understand the thought of the one we choose?
The answer is simply, because we want to enter marriage purely because of our love to God.
God told us to get married, and promised us that He would bless us with tranquility, love and mercy between us and our partner in marriage. But in my opinion, there is hidden rule in every word of His, which is;
Do everything in hope for His mercy and love, not for your own need the most.
If you want to get married, go on and choose the one, but choose with considering to what Allah will like the most from your partner to be, not from what you like the most. I know for sure it will not be easy, because sometimes our eyes will be blinded by emotion and dazzled by beauty, but please remember, anything that have been formed in this earth will not last forever.
Soon, beautiful skin will fade away and the true face will come out to the surface, education will lost by decreasing of our brain function, and wealth will crop by economic depression or misfortune, but your faith will last along the way with your good deed and sin. If that time come, and finally you can see the real face of the person you choose, and do not like it, what will you do then? Divorce? Masya Allah! Even this is halal, Allah really hate divorce.
Choose your future partner in marriage by his/her love to God, by his/her thirst to knowledge of God, and by his/her patient in any circumstance. This is moral that Jamila want us to think. Definitely not easy, of course, which is showed in the story when the young Man have to keep looking but still couldn'’t found the one. And if you lucky and finally found your one, how you can make yourself sure that his/her is the one that have been made definitely for you?
Allah, SWT and Rasullulah, SAW teach us to do istikharah. Do as much as possible until you sure about the answers. One friend taught me to make reading Surah Yassin as habits because it have many useful benefit for us. Once you sure, this is the most important point to aim for all your life; Ihklaas. Ihklaas for every hardship you will enter in future. Ihklaas to beauties or ugliness that you will have to encounter next time because of this decision. Ihklaas for good and bad of life that you will continue living with your chosen one. In these manners and with all the efforts you put be God's beloved's creation, Insya Allah, the good will come to you in your live like what God has been promised us all.
Wasallam.
"I'm standing inside crowded Bus, trying hard to breath, because it seems there is only a little space left for air to coming in, and that unsensitive driver keep running this Bus without hesitation at all, do not feel bother for considering his passengers need. Then in one split second, the Bus making turn a little bit, and stop. My feet, which already unstable because too tired to stand in moving bus, slip and I'm started to fall onto my back, almost! Because suddenly there are arms covering my body, and another body catch mine. I look back and freeze. My eyes meet those eyes, a pair of the most beautiful eyes I ever seen, planted deep under thick brows. The color is dark, with golden sparks in every shed of light. I'm enchanted!"
Imagine, how beautiful that moment sound, when we fall to someone charm for the first time of our life. There is nothing wrong by falling in somebody's beauty because it is God's creation and admiring it makes us aware of His Greatness. But when it happened in the street to someone we don't know, easy to predict what will happen next.
You will feel longing. You will start painting your heart with those eyes and asking;
"Who is he, the one who capture my heart? Did his eyes under somebody's spell, or I still have my way through his heart? I wonder, day, night and then morning coming back without an answer of my question about him. I do not know who he is or what he is and it make me sad."
Please don't start commenting that I put too much roman on the way I write. I just want to make foundation on my point. So keep reading, ok?
"One day, by an accident, I meet him again. Beautiful face brightening by smile sit next to beautiful woman. Is She His 'the one'? I wondered without realizing that my eyes caught in his face and it brought his attention to me. He look at my way, and some short recognition sparkling in his eyes. He smiles to me, made my heart pounding again. The Woman stood up, took her bag and go. He stood up too, and walked to my way, and said; "Hi, nice to meet you again, the lady from the crowded Bus."
One conversation continued to anothers. Suddenly, in speed of lightning, both of them jumping inside this woman and man's relationship. Always wants to be together, wants to get close to each other, everyday and every time. When this need could not be achieve, the longing heart become more and more painful.
"Finally he has time for me and we meet again. I miss him so bad and that is why I rushed inside his arms to make the pain of missing him go away. He holds me tight and let me leaned on him. A minutes after that, when I lift up my face to look on him, he captured my sight and start to kissed my lips".
'm not trying to writing some hot or porn action here! Please stay and keep reading my friend!
There you go, love is beautiful feeling, but when 2 people are being dragged into this kind of situation, they are become so easy to slip in sin. When one sin have been committed, the others will take a line, and for the sinner, sometimes it doesn't need to much evil's push to commit another sin which is worst than before.
"What? You already have a girlfriend? So what do you think I'm?"
"I'm so sorry! I did try to break up with her but she denied it."
"Just leave her!"
"She is sick! Please give me a chance. I will break up with her, but we should wait"
"I can't wait!"
"Please understand! It will kill her if I do it right now!"
"Do you love me?"
"More than I love myself!"
"Really?"
He didn't reply to my words, but wrapped me with his arms. I can't do anything except hold him back, willing to do anything to feel him as close as possible. To feel him as mine. Without knowing when it starts, we landed on the coach, and...."
Verbodden!
So everyone must be understood what will happen next, right? But why this is happen? In my opinion it's simply, because this natural need which drives by natural instinct, caused us to do what devil doesn't have to seduce us too far and too long to commit, in the name of love.
So, is Love the reason why the sins being committed? What is love then? Where it coming from? And what it used for?
Erich Fromm said, "Love is the answers of human existence problems".
Even in animal's life we can find something close to love, which is the extent of their instinctive ability. But in human we only can find it in little amount. Instinct is something certain, giving bond with nature as once unite, because it flow as nature, to one direction only, and never have to experience any change.
When Adam and Eve fell to the sin and had to leave Paradise, they are thrown as part of the nature and started to realized their differences. They cover their bodies and felt ashamed; not because finally they realized the nudity, but because for the first time they seen the difference between them and can't felt the connection anymore. Because they never learned to knew and to love each other before. Suddenly they felt unconnected and alone, and those brought anxiety and guilty feeling.
Start from that time, need to endure separation and walk away from present of loneliness become human's deeper need. Failing it can create madness. That is why human from very beginning tried to find help by drawn themselves into orgiastic activity, such as trance of ritual beliefs, using drugs and alcohols, and sex. This three activity have same basic characters, which is very strong and intense, involving totality in personality (soul and body), but only temporary and periodically.
In woman and Man relationships, sex become crucial material. In the case that I presenting in part 1, Sex becomes the remedy from longing and uncertain feeling of love. The result will never give real remedy, but in the contrary, will put stress to higher level than before; because the situation become unpredicted and make the longing feeling goes deeper than ever before. The problems going deep more than Sex, because remember; Sex only a remedy for uncertain feeling they develop about each others. The thought of being lonely, alone and unfitted to the world because being threatened of losing the one she love, put her in the situation that can caused depression, and ending with hurting herself.
Maybe this situation I created as the background of this post is to strong, to unusual and to dramatize. But I guarantee you, who can't see the truth of this story; this is a common themes of problems in human life these days. Different stories in every corner but mostly have the same ending, Sin. Even maybe your sin only by hold or kiss, but sin is a sin, do not need to calculate right now by yourself because God will calculate it for you when the day is come. Just need to avoid, even in slightest way!
In Islam, marriage is considered to be life's most valuable institution. It is lifelong commitment and is traditionally arranged by parents, because in Islam, Women not allow to meet and have close relationship with man who not her mahram, left alone dating him. However, many young muslims today think that the decision to marry should be left up to them. If you want to do so, please considering the most appropriate way that not has opposite direction with Islam.
The story that my sister, Jamila told us, maybe too ideal. We have been created with eyes to see and admire beautiful things. Our thought have been teach to seek greatness in life, because we considering this as the only way of successful life. The young Man in Jamila's story maybe could act like that because he is beautiful and wealthy. But think this way, how we can have a wonderful marriage if we never knew nor understand the thought of the one we choose?
The answer is simply, because we want to enter marriage purely because of our love to God.
"And among his sign is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell yourselves in tranquility with them, and he has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" (30:21).
God told us to get married, and promised us that He would bless us with tranquility, love and mercy between us and our partner in marriage. But in my opinion, there is hidden rule in every word of His, which is;
Do everything in hope for His mercy and love, not for your own need the most.
If you want to get married, go on and choose the one, but choose with considering to what Allah will like the most from your partner to be, not from what you like the most. I know for sure it will not be easy, because sometimes our eyes will be blinded by emotion and dazzled by beauty, but please remember, anything that have been formed in this earth will not last forever.
Soon, beautiful skin will fade away and the true face will come out to the surface, education will lost by decreasing of our brain function, and wealth will crop by economic depression or misfortune, but your faith will last along the way with your good deed and sin. If that time come, and finally you can see the real face of the person you choose, and do not like it, what will you do then? Divorce? Masya Allah! Even this is halal, Allah really hate divorce.
Choose your future partner in marriage by his/her love to God, by his/her thirst to knowledge of God, and by his/her patient in any circumstance. This is moral that Jamila want us to think. Definitely not easy, of course, which is showed in the story when the young Man have to keep looking but still couldn'’t found the one. And if you lucky and finally found your one, how you can make yourself sure that his/her is the one that have been made definitely for you?
Allah, SWT and Rasullulah, SAW teach us to do istikharah. Do as much as possible until you sure about the answers. One friend taught me to make reading Surah Yassin as habits because it have many useful benefit for us. Once you sure, this is the most important point to aim for all your life; Ihklaas. Ihklaas for every hardship you will enter in future. Ihklaas to beauties or ugliness that you will have to encounter next time because of this decision. Ihklaas for good and bad of life that you will continue living with your chosen one. In these manners and with all the efforts you put be God's beloved's creation, Insya Allah, the good will come to you in your live like what God has been promised us all.
Wasallam.
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