How Man & Woman Should Choose Their Future Wife & Husband

Once there was very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasized for him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind. However, every time the parents left him at the girl's house, he always come home and said: "she''s not the one!"

One evening his mother arranged for him to meet a girl, who was religious and practicing. On that evening, the young Man and the Girl were left to talk and ask each other question. The young Man, being gentleman that he was, allowed the lady to ask first. The young girl asks the young Man so many questions; about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyles, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoes size…...The young Reply to all of her questions, without tiring and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour and felt bad. Then she asked the young Man if he has any question, and he replies that he only have 3 questions. The young girl thought, "Wow, only 3 questions. Okay, shoot."

Here are those questions,

1. "Who you love the most in the world?" She thought, this is an easy question. "My Mother." She replies. The young Man smile.
2. "You said that you read a lot of Qur'an; could you tell me which seraphs you know the meaning of?" Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, “" don't know the meaning of any yet, but Im hoping to soon, insha' Allah, I just been a bit busy."
3. "I have been approach on many hands in marriage by girls who a lot prettier than you. Why should I marry you?" Hearing this young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said, "I do not want to marry this man because he is insulting my beauty and intelligence!"

And then the young Man and his Parents were once again left without an agreement of marriage. This time the young Man Parents were really angry and said,
"What did you do to anger that girl? The family were so nice and pleasant, and they we religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl? Tell us!"
He said,
"Firstly I asked her, who do you love the most? She said; her mother."
The Parents said,
"So, what is wrong with that?"
The young Man said,
"No one is Muslim, until he/she love Allah and His messenger (SAW) more than anyone else in the world. If a woman loves Allah and the Prophet (SAW) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love and fear for Allah (SWT), and we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty."
"Then I asked, you read a lot of Qur'an, can you tell me the meaning of any surah? And she said, "No because I haven't had time yet." So I thought of that hadith, "All human are dead except for those who have knowledge". She has lived 20 years and not found any time, to seek knowledge. Why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights and responsibilities, and what she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman is school and best teacher for her Childs? And woman, who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her Husband."
"The third question I asked her was that a lot of girls, prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, so why should I choose you? That is why she stormed off, getting angry."
"That is a horrible thing to say. Why would you do such thing? We are going back there to apologies." Said His Parents.
He said,
"I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger. The Prophet (SAW) said, "Do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry", when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Satan. If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she just met, do you think she will able to control it with her husband?"

Marriage is based on:

1. Knowledge, not look.
2. Practice, not preaching.
3. Forgiveness, not anger.
4. Spiritual love, not lust. And
5. Compromise.
   

One should look for a person who:

1. Has love for Allah (SWT) and the Messenger (SAW).
2. Has knowledge of the deed, and can act upon it.
3. Can control her anger.
4. And the crucial is willing to compromise.
   

It goes both ways, so woman seeking a man should look for the same things. Insha' Allah, may Allah make every marriage a success, and let us create love for Allah and His Messenger (SAW) so that Allah can bless us, and create love in our lives. There is no better structure founded in Islam other than marriage.

By JAMILA